Home again, home again
We returned home this past Saturday and have been working on establishing a routine and setting boundaries. Things are progressing, but naps and bedtime are a real challenge. We have yet to find out what calms Alexander Roman down and promotes sleeping.
We’re resorting to drives in the car to get him to fall asleep because 1) we don’t have a way to communicate that he should lay down/rest/relax/etc and 2) if we did have a way to communicate it, he’d push the boundaries and not do it, and anyway how can you “force”/require a kid to relax? Lay him on the bed and he’ll get upset. Lay with him, and he’ll squirm away, get up and start playing, close the door and he’ll get upset at being alone (which is totally understandable).
Challenging…
My mom said we weren’t to call you yet. CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLease feel free to call for advise if you’d like any. Since Alexander loves music, I would try singing and rocking or bouncing (either sitting or standing). It’s hard on the back but tends to work and gives them the soothing motion as well as the melody. There was one CD Demitri loved that would lull him to sleep on the 6th song almost every time (I forget the artist). You can try a combo too with your voice and then a CD.
Been there many times with the car – sometimes for 3 hours when he wouldn’t nap as a baby. I had my favorite circles where I didn’t have to stop the car at any lights!
Welcome to parenthood! We just started potty training yesterday and now Demitri got sick again so we only did a half day to reduce the stress. It’s the most wonderful and most difficult job you’ll ever have in your life!
Looking forward to meeting the adorable cutie pie!!!!!
Love,
Rebecca and D
BTW, the pushing the boundaries is normal 2-yr-old stuff. You have the language and being new people in his life to boot. I feel for you. Hope you get some rest so you can enjoy all the fun stuff.
Hi Rachel and Chris, WELCOME HOME AND CONGRATULATIONS!
Are you set up with an in home therapist and/or social worker who specializes in the difficulties of new parents + new country/language + developmental challenges? The families of adoptive Russian children that I know all have this type of support and it is essential for everyone involved.
Perhaps the adoption agency can point you in the right direction or maybe a support group of other Russian adoptive parents in the area?
Do reach out for help at this critical time.
Meanwhile enjoy this beautiful gift of parenthood. We are thrilled for you. Alexander is adorable!!
Much love,
Lora and Gene
I am remembering that we went to Baltimore for a year, leaving when Mike was 18 months old, and returning when he was just about Alexander’s age, 2 1/2. I was so happy to be back home, and surprised, even a bit annoyed, that Mike seemed disoriented and confused, and did not seem to remember our home. He had “grown up” in our Baltimore house and was used to the neighborhood there etc. Thinking about jet lag and a different country, language, home for your son, and I am overwhelmed. And yet… we know that he will ultimately adjust. It is the interim; AAAH there’s the rub. I know that Max had his days and nights turned around as a baby, and Mike and Cathy followed a book called, I think, “The Contented little Baby”. What helped the most, was the consistency of nap and bedtimes, daily routine, and his blanket. I used to lie down with Hannah and Zoe for years, until they fell asleep, because they were more secure tht way ( plus it was fun cuddling and talking in bed). You are all getting to know each other and adjusting to being a family of three- wow! Just give it time, and get sleep yourselves when you can.
Thanks for including us in your journey; I love reading all of your entries. Happy New Year and big hugs to all of you.